She keeps calling me
I have a problem with my girlfriend Pat (not her real name), who is 13 years younger than I. I courted her when she was in her senior year in college and after she graduated, we became sweethearts. She tried to apply with various companies but up to now, she hasn’t found a job. I am presently working in a high-pressure job with a company that demands a lot from its workers. My big problem is Pat keeps on calling me at work so many times a day.
When I don’t answer her right away, she sends a text demanding to know why. At first, I found this endearing and sweet but after a while, it became a problem as it affected my work. My attention was called by our supervisor and I told Pat to stop calling often but she persists on doing this. I know she loves me very much but frankly, her frequent calls have been getting on my nerves.
I have reminded her to stop it but still she persists. She is becoming so possessive and jealous of my female co-workers. I have tried helping her find a job to keep her busy with her time but she doesn’t seem to be able to hold a job. After only a few days, she quits or is asked to resign.
Lately, she has been dropping hints about our getting married as her parents are asking why we don’t settle down. I have tried avoiding this topic as I’m worried that if we get married, she might be demanding so much time from me.
I can’t be pressured with this as I have a very time-consuming job. I’m beginning to have doubts about our relationship as I find Pat to be obsessive and controlling.
Please advise me what to do.
Dear Confused BF,
Your girlfriend Pat seems not only to be immature but also insecure. Are you sure you want to be tied down with this kind of person for the rest of your life?
You have to rethink this relationship very carefully as she could wind up being an albatross around your neck. If you are not serious enough about her, then you have to be frank with her and not keep her hanging on. It’s better to do this before it’s too late.
She has to grow up first. And you need to breathe.