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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, February 23, 2013

Success has
changed our lives

Dear Tita,

My husband, Vic, and I have been happily married for 12 years, even though we had to struggle with his salary that was hardly enough for us and our two kids.

Our luck began to change when Vic was promoted to regional sales supervisor for their company that has branches all over Region 6. His new position required him to travel often to their other branches. This entailed meetings with the staff in various hotels and entertaining clients in restaurants. When I complained that he hardly had time for us and the kids, he would say his job required him to be away often.

Lately, he has been bringing Dina, his secretary, who is half his age (and mine), to accompany him on these trips even though she is not in sales and has no role there other than being agreeable to customers. Although Dina has women friends in the company, she regularly has lunch with my husband unless he is otherwise engaged. They share a small office where they chat about much besides business, including our personal life.

I know because Dina has been talking to her officemates who also report what’s happening to me. I think that their relationship has passed from professional into intimate, but my husband says I'm crazy and that I should be happy with our improved financial status with his position. He thinks only a sexual relationship is "intimate," but I think emotional intimacy often leads to a sexual relationship.

Vic has changed much these past few months. I feel the distance between us widening and I’m worried. Am I wrong to feel this way?

INSECURE WIFE

Dear Insecure Wife,

If I were in your place, I would feel the same way.

I suspect if your husband's secretary is accompanying him on business trips even though she has nothing to do with sales, it may already have crossed the line. It has often been said that the most erotic organ in the human body is the ear – and if he's been telling her intimate details about your marriage, that in itself is a form of betrayal.

It’s time to lay your cards on the table before things get out of hand.

TITA

 

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