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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, January 12, 2013

Our papa loves family
of second wife more

Dear Tita,

My two siblings and I are worried about our father.

When our mother died six years ago, he was completely devastated. He would lock himself inside his room and grieve over her death, saying there was nothing to live for anymore. We were very worried about him and we would take turns going to his house and trying to attend to his food and household needs, as we were all married with families of our own.

Things began to change when he met Ana, a widow with two grown-up daughters in college. Papa began to enjoy going out and spending time with her. We were happy for him as we all liked Ana, a nice lady who attended to his needs. When Papa told us he wanted to marry her, we readily gave our consent and they lived with her kids in our ancestral home.

Ana’s two daughters graduated from college and both got married soon after. Since their husbands were both jobless, they also stayed with Papa and Ana. He spent for their upkeep, including their hospitalization, when they both gave birth. We asked him why he had to take on this burden as they were not his kids but he said he felt it was his duty as Ana’s husband.

Recently, we became concerned when we learned that Papa had sold his property in the south as he was badly in need of funds. We asked him why he needed funds as he had a pension every month. He didn’t tell us but we found out that Ana had convinced him to give some capital to her daughters’ husbands for a business venture as they had no jobs.

We don’t like what is going on. I think Ana and her kids are taking advantage of Papa as he is getting old and is completely under her control. What should we do about this?


Dear Worried,

You and your siblings should have a private talk with your father. Tell him frankly how you feel about what is going on. Let him know that you are concerned about how you think he is being manipulated by Ana and her kids.

Hopefully, this will open his eyes and make him more cautious with his money and property. It is about time he asks her daughters’ husbands to find work and live on their own. They shouldn’t expect an old man to support them all their lives.



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