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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, July 13, 2013

I don’t like my sister-in-law

Dear Tita,

My parents are both professionals. My brother, Val, and I are the only children. We were raised in a happy home from the time we were kids up to our early 20s. After college, I felt sad when Val went to work in Cebu as we had been very close. I adored my brother and he was always there for me.

After he had been in Cebu for a year, we were all shocked when he called us one day that he was coming home with his wife. Val arrived that week with his wife, Chona, who was three months pregnant. He explained that they had to get married suddenly as Chona had gotten pregnant with their child. Her parents were very strict and were against their marriage so Val brought Chona home to Bacolod.

At first, Chona seemed nice and obviously, she was very much in love with Val. But as the months went on, her true character emerged. She became very possessive with Val and was a very controlling wife. We could see how unhappy she made him with her demands. Val gradually changed from a happy, outgoing person to a quiet, sullen man.

Things got worse when their frequent fights escalated into physical violence. We could see the scratches on Val’s face when Chona lost her temper. Papa told Val not to be a henpecked husband, but Val just couldn’t control his wife when she got violent. One time, I witnessed Chona throwing an ashtray at Val and I got mad. We had an exchange of words and I told her to leave our house. Val defended his wife and shouted at me. It was the first time he did that to me and I felt so hurt.

The atmosphere in our once-happy home is now so different because of Chona.

What should I do?


Dear Frustrated Sister,

Your brother obviously loves his wife and refuses to do anything about her violent temper. I’m afraid there is nothing you can do. Talk to your parents and tell them to advise Val to find a place of their own so that the family won’t be affected by their frequent fights.

Who knows? It might improve Chona’s attitude towards her husband. It is never advisable to get involved between a husband and wife’s battle. They might both turn against you.

Let’s just hope that your brother Val will have the guts to face up to his dominating wife and refuse to be controlled by her.



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