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Bacolod City, PhilippinesWednesday, June 19, 2013

Should I give him up?

Dear Tita,

I have a big problem and I hope you can help me.

I am a career woman in my mid-30s. My family and friends cannot understand why I stayed single all these years. Maybe, it’s because I was so focused on my career and I didn’t have time to entertain suitors. Now that I’m getting older, I worry about being alone in my old age.

Late last year, I met Rudy, a district supervisor of a big company here in Negros. He was so different from the other men I knew. He made me laugh and gave me all the attention I wanted. Suffice to say, we fell in love. I have opened up every aspect of my life and my home to him. Because of his work, he travels quite a bit, and while he is gone, he doesn't stay in contact. As long as he is "working" out of town, he won't call. When he returns, he calls to let me know. Sometimes days – or even weeks – have gone by without any word from him.

I’m at the end of my rope. I have tried explaining to him on several occasions how bad this makes me feel; nothing has helped. My friends tell me to lose him, but I really love the guy. Short of getting mad at him the next time he calls, what should I do?

FRUSTRATED

Dear Frustrated,

Getting mad at him won't help. Distancing yourself might.

He knows how you feel about his disappearing act. By not calling, he is giving you an unmistakable message: out of sight, out of mind. Although you have "opened up every aspect of your life and home" to him, he has not reciprocated.

Your friends may know something about him that you don’t know. My suggestion to you is to drop this loser. The way I see it, he will never make you happy.

TITA

 

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