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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, March 9, 2013

His relatives are
always visiting

Dear Tita,

My husband, Ben, comes from a big family. He has relatives all over Negros and Iloilo. Whenever the family holds a reunion, it seems like an entire barangay comes to attend.

We bought a house in a nice subdivision here in Bacolod after I gave birth to our first child. When his family learned that we bought a new house, they started coming over to stay at our place for a visit. At first, I didn't mind having them stay with us as I could see that Ben liked to have them come. But as this kept going on, it became difficult for me as I had a baby to care for and our one maid had to clean the house, wash their clothes and cook their food.

Ben's relatives seemed to enjoy staying with us because they kept coming and the house was often full of visitors day and night. I couldn't sleep at night because of the baby's constant crying and I couldn't sleep in the daytime because of the house guests. Our budget for food rose, and so with the bills for electricity and water. I complained to Ben about this but he just brushed it off, saying his family was also very good to him when he stayed with them so it was now time for him to reciprocate.

Last week, our maid decided to leave as she could no longer cope with the heavy workload. I now have to take care of our baby and do the housework by myself. Ben's relatives try to help but they are busy going out with their friends and relatives, who keep inviting them out, so I end up working home alone.

I have been telling Ben to talk to his relatives not to come so often but he is too ashamed to tell them.

VERY TIRED WIFE

Dear Very Tired Wife,

It is very inconsiderate of your husband's relatives to abuse your hospitality by staying with you too often. They should know how difficult it is for you with a baby and a house to take care of.

It's time to put your foot down. Since Ben can't seem to tell them not to come so often, you could ask your in-laws for help. Talk to your mother-in-law and tell her your problem. She can understand the situation and it is best that she should be the one to talk to their relatives. Maybe, some of them can even help you find another maid.

TITA

 

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