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Bacolod City, PhilippinesWednesday, October 23, 2013

Which one should I marry?

Dear Tita,

I am a 29-year-old single mother with two kids from different fathers.

I was only 16 when I got pregnant by my first boyfriend, an out-of-school youth who abandoned me when I told him I was pregnant. My parents shouldered the expenses of my delivery through C-section and they spent for my college education until I graduated.

When I was working at my first job, I fell in love with a married co-worker and got pregnant by him. His wife found out and created such a scandal that we both lost our jobs and he moved to Olongapo with his family. Again, my parents helped me through my ordeal.

I am now working to support my two kids. Last year, I met Leon, a very attractive young executive who courts me and says he wants to marry me, but has not given me a ring. I think I love him but I noticed he doesn’t seem interested in my children, just me.

A few months ago, I met Al, a 47-year-old businessman, who also says he loves me. He wants to settle down with me and would love to be a father figure to my kids. My parents like him because he is financially secure and shows he loves me and my kids very much.

I admit I have feelings for both of them. I want to make the right choice, but how do I choose the right one?

CONFUSED

Dear Confused,

You must remember that you have to choose a husband and a father for your kids.

The fact that Leon doesn’t seem interested in your kids is a bad sign. He might be attractive to you but how would he be a father figure to your children? It seems to me that Al seems to be a better prospect for a husband. He shows he loves not only you but also your kids. No wonder your parents are all for him.

In the meantime, don’t rush into another relationship right away. You have already made two big mistakes in your choice of loving the wrong men. Give yourself time to study and observe. When you are really sure, that’s the time to decide.

TITA

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