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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, October 26, 2013

Is something wrong with me?

Dear Tita,

I am an 18-year-old female college student who has not had a boyfriend in more than two years. I often hang out with my schoolmates, who love to go to malls, movies, restaurants, sports activities, etc.

But the truth is, I feel left out with my friends who have boyfriends. They seem so happy and “kilig” talking about their BFs. When they start doing this, I just keep silent and feel so uncomfortable. I have nothing to share with them in the BF department, but I do want to have a guy of my own. I want a guy I can trust and share my feelings with.

Tita, I have one particular guy in mind. He is tall, good-looking and very nice to talk to. I find him attractive but I’m afraid that if I let him know how I feel, he will reject me. I’m not bad-looking at all but I lack confidence in myself. I need someone who makes me feel "complete," and I feel he is the one.

My problem is that he hangs out with the popular group and probably won't even be interested in me. Is something wrong with me? What should I do?

LEFT OUT GIRL

Dear Left Out Girl,

There is nothing "wrong" with you.

Many women feel they need someone to make them feel "complete." (Doesn’t this sound like a dialog from a movie?) They think they need a guy to make them happy.

However, it's a huge mistake. The only person who can truly make you complete and happy is YOU. Rather than concentrate on how lonely and needy you are, focus your time and energies outward on activities that interest you. It will make you a far more interesting person to be around.

Are you interested in books? Go to the library and read up on good stories. Visit museums and art galleries. (You might meet a nice guy there who's also trying to improve his mind, or some budding artists who are on the brink of recognition). Are you interested in photography? Take the time out to shoot nice photos for your own pleasure. You might meet Mr. Right Guy this way.

You'll feel better if you allow yourself less time to brood about having no one to love you. The most interesting people I know are the ones who are passionate about the things they are interested in. There’s an exciting world out there. Find out what excites you most. You might find that it isn’t necessarily a guy!

TITA

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