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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, January 11, 2014

How long can I wait?

Dear Tita,

My boyfriend, Eddie, and I have been ‘on' for nine years this 2014. I am now 32 years old while he is 29. Most of our friends have married and some have two or three kids. I am working in the Human Resources Department of a communications company, and he is assistant supervisor in the company he works for.

With our combined salaries, we could have gotten married years ago. But every time I mention marriage, he continues to hedge and find excuses why we can't. He talks about helping his younger siblings finish their schooling, or saving enough money for our future, or having enough money so we can build a house before marrying. He points out to me the financial problems some of our married friends are facing, and says he doesn't want a similar thing to happen to us.

My parents and sisters have been dropping hints about when we plan to settle down. My aunt, who is a doctor, warns me about my ‘biological clock' ticking. Last month, Eddie suggested that we open a joint savings bank account so we can pool our money faster and get married soonest. This sounds like a practical idea to me but I can't help feeling doubtful – what if he suddenly decides not to marry me at all?

What do you think I should do?


Dear Confused,

NINE YEARS? And still no end in sight? What are you waiting for?

You might end up an old maid while Eddie finds someone younger to spend the rest of his life with. Girl, it's time you open your eyes and face the truth – your boyfriend doesn't have any plans to marry you in the near future. That is why he keeps coming up with so many excuses.

Have a frank and open discussion with him on your future. Give him an ultimatum. If he keeps on hedging and postponing, then you had better let him go.

Your aunt is right. Your ‘biological clock' is ticking, and there are a lot of men out there who might make a better husband-material for you. Life is too short to spend on the waiting game. You have spent too much time and energy on this wishy-washy guy. Give yourself a chance to find a better man.



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