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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, July 16, 2014

They don’t want me
in their family

Dear Tita,

My mother got pregnant by my father, who was a married man, when she was just 18 years old. After she gave birth to me, her mother took care of me as my mother went abroad to work as a caregiver.

After a while, she got married to an older American and settled in Wisconsin. I tried to keep in touch by writing to her often and sending her my pictures, but she probably was too busy with her own family to keep in touch with me.

When I was nine years old, my Lola died and my father got me to live with him and his family. At first, I was treated well by his wife and their kids. I tried my best to make them like me but I could also sense that they would get jealous if my father showed me more attention so I just kept my distance.

We were all shocked when my father had a stroke that left half of his body paralyzed. I was the one who took care of him for years as he needed constant care daily. I didn’t mind serving him as I was happy to do it for my father. I could see he was grateful for all that I was doing for him even if he could hardly talk.

Everything changed after my father died. One day, after I came home from visiting his grave at the cemetery, I found my things outside my room. His wife and kids told me it was time for me to leave their house as my father was now dead. I was shocked as I never thought they would throw me out just like that. I pleaded with them to let me stay but they insisted that I leave.

I felt so alone and abandoned. I was able to stay with a friend of my Lola, who took pity on me. I know I can’t stay here for long as their house is small and they are a big family. I cry myself to sleep every night. Please advise me on what to do.


Dear Unwanted,

Why don’t you write to your mother in Wisconsin and let her know what happened. She is your mother and she should help you now. If possible, she should send for you to go to the States and live with her.

But if not, then ask her to help you with expenses for you to continue your studies until you graduate. Then you can work and support yourself.

You have to be strong and really determined to survive. Who knows? Someday, you might be a successful career woman. Good luck!




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