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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, July 29, 2015

He's a good father
but lousy husband

Dear Tita,

My husband Alex (not his real name), is a popular lawyer and is well known in civic circles. People admire him for his personality and charisma. We have been married for 15 years and have three kids.

To other people, Alex seems to be the perfect husband. But to me, he is a womanizer and a mean husband. He acts so nice when others are around but when we are alone, his true character comes out and he orders me around and insults me about my clothes, the way I talk, my limited knowledge in various subjects, etc. He has even hit me a few times when he blows his top. I have kept this secret from my friends and family for years.

Our three kids adore him as he is very good to them and takes them out to picnics, restaurants and other activities they all enjoy.

This is the main reason why I have not left him even though I want to. I can't stand being treated like trapo (dish rag) when no one's around. He is such a good actor. My lady friends keep telling me how lucky I am to have him for a husband.

How can I go on? I suffer from migraine headaches often and I suspect this could be because of my personal turmoil in my marriage. Should I just leave him even if I know his kids love him very much?



Dear Frustrated Wife,

It must be quite an ordeal to have to put up with this lousy husband. He is such a hypocrite, trying to show people how wonderful he is when in fact, he has a hidden ugly side known only to his wife. It's a wonder he hasn't shown his real self to your children.

I suspect they know his true character towards you even if they haven't told you. Children are very observant. They know things that you think are hidden from them. If things get so bad between you and him, it's time you make up your mind whether to continue to suffer in silence or to walk out on this awful person.


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